The Mid-Career Trap

The Mid-Career Trap Is the new Escape Room

There’s nothing worse than feeling empty when by society’s measure you’ve amassed it all.

It’s a crazy feeling. When you come home from a long day at work and look around your house, you see reminders of it. The higher education diplomas, countless awards you’ve received over the years, and, of course, the more obvious fruits of your labor - that beautiful car or home you live in. But somehow, it just doesn’t seem to matter.

At this point, you’re just clocking in to collect your paycheck and go home. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. At the very least, you should feel some sense of personal fulfillment and professional satisfaction. Not battling Sunday scaries, tapping out your PTO, and using your spare time to figure out new excuses to avoid early meetings that should be emails.

But then guilt starts to settle in. You’ve got a family, responsibilities, and other obligations to tend to. Who are you to be feeling this way? Deep down, you know you’re unhappy. You believe there’s nothing you can really do about it unless there’s high risk and lots of uncertainty involved. The good news is there are solid strategies to help you get through it, and in this blog post, I’ll dive deeper into the Mid-Career Trap, why it happens, and what you can do about it.

But first, let’s define in detail what the Mid-Career Trap actually is and what it really looks like.  

What Is the Mid-Career Trap?

Let me ask you a quick question: Are you familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? It’s a motivational theory designed by Abraham Maslow that suggests there are five specific areas we must achieve to reach complete fulfillment as human beings. The Hierarchy of Needs depicts a pyramid divided into five major sections: physiological needs (water, shelter, air), safety & security (health, well-being, employment, financial security) love & belonging (family, friends, community), self-esteem (self-respect, confidence, reputation) and self-actualization (creativity, sense of purpose, moral development and purpose driven action. Theoretically, we must have our lower-tiered needs met before we ascend the pyramid, and self-actualization (or the peak) is often the most challenging to meet, as it suggests one has reached their full potential. You may even look at this pyramid and think, “Well, I’ve achieved most of those things in those areas… but I don’t quite feel a sense of purpose or that I’m acting at my full potential as a human being.”

And that’s part of the issue, experiencing a disconnect between external and internal validation (money is great, but I’m not making a difference, or there has to be more). You may even feel boxed in or unsure where to go at this point in your career, and this feeling is precisely what millions of professionals go through: The Mid-Career Trap. ​

You’re bored with your work. It just doesn’t excite you like it once did. And the handful of professional organizations you’re a member of? You only attend functions out of obligation, not sincere curiosity or interest. You’ve checked out entirely, and on more than one occasion, you start fantasizing about what a different life would look like for yourself (no matter how crazy the idea).  

Now, before you start thinking to yourself, “Man, this is one major midlife crisis!” It’s essential to look at everything through a different lens, and phrasing is important here: let’s think of this as an awakening. You may have known for a while that something needed to change; it’s just time to do something about it.

Remember when I talked about feeling guilty for even feeling this way (i.e., you’ve got a family to support and obligations, and I can’t be selfish, yaya yada)? Well, that’s normal to feel that way, as long as it doesn’t manifest into depression, laziness, or burnout. That may be indicative of something deeper that needs attention. But in this particular case, the Mid-Career Trap has more to do with lack of fulfillment than anything (although burnout can be a symptom).  

Why It Happens

We’re taught at an early age to follow the status quo: go to school, get a good job, climb the career ladder, and make a lot of money. Society has constantly reminded us that this mantra is the only way toward success. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting or having the above, it’s important to consider our needs and values as individuals, and recognize that career-building should (and will) look different for everyone. Most importantly, our approach to career-finding is what leads us to the path we’re on today (whether intentional or not), and these three reasons shed light on why.

Reason #1: You built your life on someone else’s blueprint

​Take a minute to think back to when you were in high school, preparing for college. Depending on where and how you grew up, you most likely had a lot of influences telling you where to go (community college, state school, or Ivy League), the major you should pursue, and the expectations your parents set for you. Even the media or friends may have played a role: You want a head start in the world? Don’t waste your time chasing Communications, you need to be a STEM major! The emphasis was all about security (financial and job), not personal alignment. That career you built back in the day was designed by the 22-year-old version of you or your parents, and guess what, you’re not 22 anymore. (That’s a good thing, right?)

Reason 2: Your values changed, but your career didn't

When you think back to your first job, what were some of the most critical factors in your life at that time? Achievement? Advancement? Stability? Maybe it’s something else. We were all once starry-eyed young professionals looking at the workplace through rose-colored glasses. Now, at 45, you have different perspectives on life in general. Your experiences have shaped you, and what you value has changed. You embrace autonomy, flexibility, meaning, and impact. The problem is, your career may not reflect those values, leaving you feeling empty (and trapped).

Reason 3: You climbed the ladder only to realize it's against the wrong wall

You did well in playing the game. You won. The problem is you weren’t happy with the prize: a ladder that led you somewhere you didn’t want to be. When you feel stuck and burned out in a tight economy, choosing a career change feels like too much of a gamble.

What to Do About It

Before we go any further, let me say this: there are a few different ways you can methodically escape the Mid-Career Trap without leaving everything to chance or making hasty decisions, especially if your first inclination might be to jump ship and start putting in other job applications all over the place. Or maybe you’d rather suffer in silence and stick it out where you’re at, or wait to retire. The better option is to focus on redesigning your life.

When I say that, I mean getting clear on what you actually want. Not defined by family, friends, or the status quo, or what you THINK you should wish to. The answer is to focus on designing a transition strategy that aligns with who you are and “testing” (experimenting) with different paths to where you’d like to go (ALL while you have stability). That way, you’re not making any rash decisions and jeopardizing your livelihood.

Conclusion

The Mid-Career Trap is all about having success without fulfillment, but you don’t have to stay in that place. It doesn’t make you ungrateful, broken, or entitled; it’s simply an internal calling for more. There’s a way out; you have to be ready to start the journey.

Ready to Design What’s Next?

If you’re a mid-career professional feeling stuck (especially in today’s tight job market), I can help. Using a test-before-you-invest approach, I’ll guide you through this transition strategically, without the risk of a dramatic career leap.